We got another letter from Davan last night. Camp is still only okay. Some parts are great. Some parts are hard. Some parts are just there.
Davan is staying vegan while at camp, which is both a blessing and trouble. She is having a hard time eating enough in the allotted time to be really full. Once she was sent back for not having enough protein on her plate and told to get some. She was quite affronted because that councilor had a plate of meat and cheese as opposed to Davan's meal of bread and a wide assortment of veggies. Anyway, that resulted in several meals of eating something she didn't like until she struck upon the idea of sitting at a different councilor's table. She's also realized that the snack provided isn't usually vegan, so she takes an apple from meal time for that. So, she's coping. She's found that when she gets hungry is when she feels really homesick, so figuring this out has been important.
Some of the councilors are nice and some are mean...this might actually mean some councilors are a good match for Davan and some aren't, but it could also mean just what she said. She loves her fabric coach and loves doing fabric there because it's hung so high that when she climbs to the top, she can do three drops and still have room for a static trick. Tumbling isn't going so well. The tumbling coach is one of the "mean" ones and, according to Davan, plays favorites. Also, they don't do more than back handsprings, so she's not feeling challenged there.
She has a friend, which is great. There area also some kids she's not so fond of. Of course.
Every other night they get to have tent time rather than an organized group activity. Tent time is, basically, open gym time and Davan really loves that.
She ends her letter with this: "When I came to camp, I kind of thought that they would take care of me. But really I end up taking care of myself. I stretch on my own because they don't stretch enough at warm up. I figure out food. I figure out clothes. And many of their rules make this harder. But I'm okay. I'm working it out. And when I"m in the air it's all so much easier. But still, I'm pretty ready to come home again."
I think this is a huge growth experience for her. I think it will give her a realistic idea of what boarding at the National Circus School might look like. It may or may not give her pause as to if that is still really her goal for next year. I'll be interested to hear her thoughts on that when she gets back. I wonder if she's going to have a hard time leaving for Not Back to School Camp on the heels of coming home from what has ended up being a bit of challenging time away.
As for my reaction to all of this being away stuff...well, it hasn't necessarily been as expected. I've always been one to rejoice in Davan's accomplishments and growing up. I'm not the one who got teary when Davan let go of my hand and started walking on her own. When I could finally drop Davan off at a class rather than join it, it was all good. This isn't to say that I don't want her around or that I don't treasure our time together. I do, very much, but growing up is a good thing to do. It's supposed to happen.
So, I was taken aback a bit when I realized that I was entering a bit of a funk at the beginning of all this away time. That's gotten better, but I'm pretty anxious to see her now that it's getting closer.
What really surprised me was my reaction to a commercial on the radio. There are a few stations I like, so I tend to just find another station when commercials start. Anthony and I were driving when the first commercial that came on for a commercial break started with this question, "Are you sending a child off to college this fall?" In a totally unplanned, spontaneous move, I said, "No, we aren't!" and turned the radio off. Nope, I didn't just change the channel, I turned the sucker off. After a few moments, I said conversationally to Anthony, "Well, that was an interesting reaction," and turned the radio back on. Anthony just grinned.
I guess that answers the question of if I'm ready for her to go off to boarding school. That would be a no. Still, if it's what she is still really wanting for next year and gets in, I'll have to come around.