Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I'm so bossy

I got Max up this morning, did an I love you finger rhyme, read to him and then it was time to get dressed. He usually has 5 minutes for this task. All of his clothes are picked out the night before, so it's just a matter of taking off his pjs and putting on said clothes. If he gets in and starts changing quickly, he does it in about 3 minutes and I don't' bother setting the timer. However, if he's dawdling, I do.

This morning, he got started fine, but then was busy standing around, so I set the timer for finishing up. This was the first time I was told I was so bossy.

Then it was breakfast time. I usually set the timer for breakfast, as well. Eat or don't eat, but breakfast is over when the timer goes off. I forgot to set it immediately when he sat down to eat, and didn't think of it until he had five minutes left and was sitting there, not eating at all. When I set the timer, he said, "What? Why are you doing that? I have so much left to eat. Why do you have to boss me all the time?" That makes two times for those keeping track.

Then he goes to wash his hands and plays in the water. And plays in the water. And splashes a bit. And sings a song. "Move on, Max, it's almost time to go." Yes, again a bossy complaint.

He then dries his hands. And stands there, playing with the towel. And sings a song. "Max, move along."

He goes and gets his sandals, moseying along, talking to himself, standing around for a bit, brings the sandals back across the house (rather than just making one trip), sits down and starts fidgeting with the sandals. "Max, we're out the door in one minute."

He starts to try to put them on. "But I'm having trouble with these! Why do you boss me around all the time?!?!!?" Wailing.

We go out the door with him giving a constant stream of whines, grumbles and comments on my bossiness.

It was lovely.

Oh, and why sandals in February? Because he's lost the use (temporarily) of all three of his pairs of tennies. He he's been having trouble with hanging on things while taking his shoes off - door knobs, the handle for the oven (which is bent now), drawer pulls, the end of the table, etc. So, we let him know that was not okay and, if he couldn't take his shoes off without hanging on something while standing up, he needed to sit down to take his shoes off. I also let him know that any shoes that were taken off while hanging would be put in the black box. He lost all three pairs of tennies in two days. Until the black box is opened (a few days), he has sandals and boots. I guess he didn't want to wear his boots today. Of course, the sandals and boots may well go, too and then he'd be down to slippers. I wonder if he'll stop hanging at some point.


  1. As it happens, *I* am a really BOSSY person too! We're in good company, I suspect.

    For Little One, I ended up buying two sheets of "Cars" stickers (he's got a serious thing for that movie) and if he gets ready "on time and quickly" he gets a sticker. It's the same tactic they use at his JK class and whoah, it works wonders.

    I really never thought I'd be into bribery..

  2. I suspect you're right about being in good company. ;)

    I've thought of going the bribery route. In fact, I've made attempts at "positive rewards." Max is really good at making rewards into punishments, though, by not earning them and then fussing because I didn't give him X. Sigh.

  3. With Little One, the stickers work perfectly. We simply remind him, "If you don't hurry, you can't have a sticker" and he RUNS. He knows he won't get the sticker if he doesn't rush.

    Oldest One is the opposite. He doesn't care about earning things - he cares more about LOSING things. So he has an allowance that we deduct from if he isn't doing his chores or something he needs to do.

    And Middle One is in the middle. He earns his money by doing certain things (homework, for example) and he loses money for NOT doing other things. And that combination works really well because he either doesn't earn ANYTHING or he loses all of it due to stupid behaviours. This way he's never at a big ZERO on the board. :)

    I've also found that "a sudden bonus" is a HUGE motivator. Once in a while I'll add $0.30 to someone's allowance for "having a good attitude all day!" or "helping with X without being asked". All three kids know that "bonuses" can't be asked for and don't happen all the time. :)