Lately I've been irritable with Davan. I don't know why, really. Overall, I'm a happy camper. I appreciate my family to no end. I think Davan is a great kid. There are so many things about her that I love and cherish. But. I'm annoyed with her. A lot.
Sometimes how she chews sets me off. Lately (the last half a year or so), there seems to be a lot of whine coming out of her. It's not necessarily the total all out whine, but more saying things with some complaint. Minor injuries (things I wouldn't even label as injuries, really) send her over the edge and give her ammunition for why I don't love her (apparently, I don't drop everything and run over quickly enough every time - yeah, well, I don't drop everything unless it seems to be more than the minor non-injury it usually is). Fake laughing really gets me. Tittering like a fool really, really gets me. Oh, and asking questions she already knows the answers to in a fake little girl voice. Oh, man. That's a biggie. That's probably about the complete list. Short, really. But, frequent.
Sometimes I wonder if she was like this when Max was still here and I just didn't notice over his overwhelming behaviors. I know she wasn't perfect when he was here and some things rubbed me wrong then, too. And yet. It seems worse now.
I wish I knew why I can't seem to overlook that stuff, which, really, is minor compared to all the really great things about her. So, I'm back to, it's just me. I must not be an accommodating person. I guess adoption wasn't the way for us to go. Or did I become like this after Max? Whichever. I'd like to be a better person now. Will that work? Just saying it? I'm guessing not.