So, more on adoption. We had gotten up to looking at kids and what happens next, I believe.

Back in early November, we were paper ready and started looking at available kids. This is done by going into the office (or, as we've mostly done sense then, bringing the book home) and looking at a three ring binder filled with bulletins on available kids. The kids each have a picture, a birth date, first name and last initial, race, ethnicity, if they are legally free and the date of the release of the bulletin on the first page. Then, there is a page or 3 with descriptions of the child - interests, strengths, issues, basic reasons for being in foster care and such.

Mostly, the ethnicity is in regards to if the child is Hispanic or not. African American heritage is indicated under race. We're open to any race or mix, so, although we look at this out of interest, it's not a decisive issue for us.

The birth date is decisive, however. Originally, we'd thought that we would adopt a child younger than Davan but 3 or older. At the time, Davan was 7, so we were thinking 3-7 year olds. Then we decided that we wanted to consider older kids. It's highly recommended that you not disrupt birth order, but Davan was interested in an older sibling and DH and I like older kids, so it seemed like a good idea. However, we wanted to make sure the child was 3 years older than Davan so as to minimize issues with rivalry. So, we decided 10-13 year olds were our main focus, but we'd be open to 3-7 year olds as well.

When we finally looked at the bulletins, though, we were surprised to discover that very few 10-13 year olds were available for adoption here in Oregon - at least as individual children and not as part of a sibling group. In fact, in the whole book of hundreds, we only found 5 kids in this age range. We decided to put in for 3 of these 5. Meanwhile, though, there were lots of kids in the 3-7 range we'd originally thought about, so we put in for 4 of these kids, as well.

I went over the bulletins with Davan when we got home, sharing with her the pictures and the appropriate parts of the bulletins. She surprised us by being most excited about the younger kids! After mulling this over for a while, we decided to go back to focusing on younger kids. Thus, we were sticking with the birth order advice and going for the group that seemed to have more need, as well.

Now, Davan is 8 and we're still mostly looking at 3-7 year olds. Although, we've actually put in for a couple of 2 year olds, as well. This was a surprise to us - how many kids under 3 are available. We'd been told that if we wanted to adopt 0-3 year old individual kids that we shouldn't bother to try to go through the process with the state, as these kids were gold and there was a 3 year plus waiting list. This was fine with us, as we were looking at older kids anyway. However, the book is full of young kids! Most of them have some sort of medical issue, which I guess makes them less appealing. Most, though, seem to only suffer from the possibility that prenatal exposure to drugs/alcohol will have future repercussions. Thus, we opted to put in for a couple of 2 year olds, as well.

By now, we've put in for well over 20 kids and haven't made it to committee yet. What happens after we express interest is that our case worker contacts the child's case worker. Barbara (our case worker) tells them a little about us and asks if they are still accepting homestudies. While they try to keep the books up to date, we've had it happen frequently that we've inquired about a child only to learn that either they'd already been adopted, already had their committee meeting or already had the three families picked for committee. If the child's case worker is interested in us, Barbara sends them a copy of our homestudy. The child's case worker reviews all the homestudies that are sent and decides which are good matches.

Once the case worker thinks that we're a good match, we're sent more information about the child. If we are still interested after all the information has been divulged and we're still interested, the child's case worker is informed of our interest. At this point, we may become one of the families that goes to committee.

In Oregon, an effort is made to find three potential families for each child or sibling group. A committee is convened to decide which family is the best match. The families are represented by their case workers and the child by his/her case worker. 5 case workers who are unbiased (no special contact with child or families) hear the information and decide on the best match. Actually, the 5th case worker, who presides over the meeting only votes if there is a tie amongst the other 4.

The families are all informed after the meeting and a one week waiting period ensues. During this week, anyone who was involved in the process can appeal. This is, apparently, a rare occurrence, but it can happen. Once the week is over, the child's case worker lets the child know that there is a family who wants to adopt them and shows the child a family book that the adoptive parents have made. The family book has pictures of mom and dad primarily, but also siblings, pets, home, regular activities and such. This is the beginning of the transition period.

Over the course of the next (usually) three or so weeks, the child is transitioned from the foster family to the adoptive family. The adoptive parents go to meet the child for a short time one day. Then they spend more time with the child another day. Then they have the child overnight, then for the weekend and finally the child moves in. Or something similar. The child's case worker is the primary planner for the transition. As different kids have different needs and as some adoptive families live further away from the child than others, it's a flexible process.


Whew - that's a lot of writing for this session. One parting though, first. We just discovered last week that one of the kids we put in for - a 5 year old little girl - had 70!!!! families inquire about her. And here we thought adoptive families were in short supply. Perhaps that goes to show why it hasn't happened for us yet. There are just so many people out there willing to adopt the same sort of kids that we are. While we need to do what is right for our family, it does make me wonder if we're doing the right thing by adopting one of these kids that so many people seem to want.

Meanwhile, we are still waiting to hear about a committee date for Alexis.