Monday, January 05, 2009

Of Course I Love Her

But, right now, I don't think that Davan believes that I do. For the second time today, she's in tears, thinking that I'm mad at her. And she's right. I am. Some. I'm not so angry that I've yelled or anything, though. I've just stated consequences - natural or logical - and she's ended up in tears.

As far as she's concerned, that means that I should be stepping in, cuddling her and letting her know that I still love her. And I do. Still love her. I just think that she should be able to suffer the consequence without having to go through all that every time.

This morning, she dawdled again at chores. Now, for a while, at least, we're going to have separate chore lists. If she wants to dawdle at chores, fine, but she still has her share to do. She freaked out, begging for another chance. Well, we've been over this a few times in the last couple of months, so I'm not feeling like another chance is a good idea. Lots of tears.

Then, I was getting our stuff together for swimming and I asked her to go get her water bottle. It's missing. It's either in the van or at the gym. If the latter is true, it could well be gone. I stated that fact. She is now crying and looking at me like I've been torturing her. Can you say overreaction? Or, at least, be upset about the bottle. What have I done here? Is it too much to think she should be able to cope with this stuff? It's not she'll go thirsty, even. I did give her a not so wonderful water bottle to use (it's not the first one lost).

She's upset because I've told her what the consequence is. Not about the consequence itself. She's upset because she thinks I love her less. I don't. But, do I have to show her that every time? I am a little mad about these things, yes. And I should be able to be a little without it having an adverse effect on our relationship, I believe. I'm not yelling. I'm not name calling. I'm just a little bit curt. A little bit. Sigh.

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