Monday, April 28, 2008

Mulling About Names

So, we've changed Max's name. It was Judea when he came to live with us. We called him Judea for the first year he lived here, as he wasn't interested in changing his name, but it's not a name we were overly thrilled with.

In December, when we were on our way down to California to visit family and Disneyland, we came around to the topic of names. Judea was hesitant to try out a new name, but we all decided to try out a new name for a day, just for the fun of it. Davan became Jessica. Anthony became Wally. (He's a funny, funny man.) I became Jenica, not because of Davan's Jessica choice, but because I'd heard it at her gym and admired it. Judea became Michael Jordan. Not Michael, middle name Jordan, but Michael Jordan. We called him that for the day. However, that was not a long term name solution, I assure you.

I won't even go for first name Michael, last name Jordan. A person needs their own identity. And, as cool as Judea might think it is now, he won't appreciate it when he's older, I'm sure.

So, we continued to mull it over. Davan immediately went back to Davan after the one day. Anthony and I continued to call each other Jenica and Wally on occasion, for a while, just for fun. Judea continued to be Michael Jordan, with no desire to go back to Judea.

I decided to suggest a name to him that he might like and that would be something we could accept. Max sort of came to me in a flash. It seems like a sporty name and he's a sporty guy. It really fits him, as well. He agreed to be called Max for a day, maybe two.

He was called Max (with occasional slips to Judea) for two weeks without ever asking to be called Judea again. We thought we had it.

Then we came back from vacation. On Christmas Eve, over at my MIL's house, Max suddenly made a big fuss about us not calling him Judea. He seemed to be making a big deal out of it just to show that we were treating him poorly in front of the sympathetic relatives, so we sort of brushed it off.

The night before he went back to school, I had a talk with him. I asked him if he liked being called Max or if he'd rather be called Judea. He said he wanted to be called Max. I mentioned that they'd be calling him Judea at school, but we could let them know his name was Max now, if he liked. He didn't like. He wanted to be called Judea at school. Okay...but, you want your name to be Max? Yes. Okay....

I suggested that we wait until finalization and then have a "name change" party at school. He thought that was a good idea. So, the months went on.

Max had thought that we were finalizing the adoption in February and had a rough time of it when he realized February had passed. We didn't realize that until mid March. However, at the very end of February, he started saying that he didn't want to change his name. He wanted his name to be Judea.

Well, when we talk with him about it, he will tell us that he still wants us to call him Max. So, what's the deal? Right now, the lawyer has the information that his name will be Max Judea O'Donnell. But, I'm pretty sure we could do a last minute change if we had to. The lawyer might not be thrilled, but hey, we need to do what's right.

The question is, what is right? Does he really want his name to be Judea, but wants us to call him Max, like a nick name? I don't know. He isn't very clear on it, either.

1 comment:

  1. Well, you can have just about any name on the paperwork and call him Barney or Fred... whatever works.

    With both Max and Judea on the legal stuff, he can choose either one.

    He can even change his name every day, and won't THAT be fun?!