Hmmm.....I've been trying to answer the question of what I want to say good-bye to pretty much at least monthly sense Max moved in. Before Max, it was much less often, but still an idea I'd look at fairly frequently.
I would like to let go of my anger and resentment. Yup. What's holding me back? Other than Max? I don't know. It's a really hard thing to do. I try to take deep, cleansing breaths. I get my exercise. I mostly eat right. By mostly, I mean all but one or two meals a week, including snacks. I practice relaxation through doing things I enjoy - stretching, reading, walking. I don't want to be angry, but I am. A lot.
It's awful to blame my anger on another person. After all, as I keep telling Max, no one can make us do or feel anything. We choose how to react to what other people do.
Maybe what I need to let go of and leave behind is Max. But what form would that take?
There's the literal - disrupt the adoption. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's not happening.
There's figurative - let go of my need to control him. Does that mean I let him play video games all the time, scream so it hurts my ear drums, get into my personal space in an aggressive and/or annoying fashion, throw food on the ground, not eat any fruits or veggies, have a room so messy I can't set foot in it, never clean up after himself? I could think of more that he'd do if I let go of my control, but that's enough to give the basic idea.
How else can I let go? I can try to let go of my desire to have a positive relationship and just accept that I either have to put up with the obnoxiousness or be more controlling than I ever wanted to be over another person.
I don't know. I'm stymied. How can I let go of what bothers me about Max without actually letting go of him? I think if I could figure that out, it'd help with the stress, anger and resentment. Let me know if you have the magic pill. I'd like to give it a try.