Friday, June 27, 2008

Well, That's a Surprise

We had a brief meeting with our case worker today. Barbara was amazingly supportive and validating. She said that she felt we'd done everything we could possibly do for Max. That she felt like we'd worked as well as we could with her and as well as we could with his therapist.

Wow. I didn't expect that. It felt good. And what I needed to hear. I hope she really meant it.

I've been feeling a mixture of relief/anxiety/guilt today.

We have a meeting between our case worker and Max's therapist Tuesday. Possibly Max's therapist will come or attend via phone. I'll know more about what will happen next after that. At this point, what I think will happen is that he'll continue to live here while a new adoptive family is recruited. However, I'm not willing for him to stay for an indefinite amount of time and I don't know how much time they'll need to get together new families. So, we'll see if that works out or not.


  1. You HAVE done everything you could. It's just that Max isn't fixable.
    It's a shame that the foster care system lied to you about him.

    This is not your fault.

    I can't imagine how hard it is for you to give this up, I know you have done nothing for the past 18 months that didn't include planning for his needs.

    You've done so much more than anyone else would have.

  2. You have done what you could. That is all you can ask yourself.

    I know how hard it is to go this route. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Every day I 2nd guess myself. Even though deep down I know "I did everything I could in the 8 yrs he was with us and/or 'in our family'.

    Be firm w/the therapist and sw's. Set ground rules. You need to be rolling this ball...You need to be in charge (as much as you can). If they think you will keep hiim in hyour home for an extended amount of time for them to "find a family". They will take their sweet loving time.


    Take Care of you!!