The Plan - Really

I did find out on Friday what the final plan was for Max moving. However, there are still some details that will be worked out this week.

Barbara was able, after all, to find a place for Max to go temporarily, without us having to pay $50/day for respite. He is going Monday - tomorrow - afternoon. Anthony is coming home early and having lunch with us and to be here when Max goes.

The plan was for us to tell him that, because things have been so difficult for us as a family, we're going to take a break for a little while. We did just tell him that. We explained that it wasn't because he was bad or stupid (both things he says about himself), but because we were having troubles being safe and happy as a family.

He took it...interestingly. He says he doesn't want to go, but almost seemed more excited about having "chicken" nuggets and tator tots for lunch tomorrow than upset about going. He kind of whined a bit and looked like he was trying to work himself up to crying, but it just wasn't coming.

I think he's mostly nervous about going to a new family that he hasn't met before. He mentioned two other families we know, saying he'd want to go to one, but not to the other.

He then went to brush his teeth and Anthony is reading to him. He cried a bit because we told him that he could either have a light on or a book on tape (neither of which he's had for over a month now at bedtime), but not both because there is only one plug. He chose a book on tape. It is still light out, after all.

I feel...I don't know. I was really worried about telling him, but it went as well as could be expected.

Next, he'll have his evaluation on Tuesday, which Barbara will take him to. I'll be there, as well, because they need me to do some forms, which is standard for children doing physiological evaluations.

Sometime after that - Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday, I don't know for sure - his therapist, A, and Barbara will tell him that he isn't going to come back here. The day after that, we'll have a good bye meeting with him. At some point, Davan will also have a good bye meeting with him, which may or may not happen at our house.

Once the good byes are done, his case worker from Lane County will come and get his stuff from us (with a van, supposedly) and pick him up to take him down to a waiting foster family. The foster family is one that his case worker has found for him and is a very experienced foster family where they hope he'll do well. This will probably happen by the end of the week.

So, there are still some questions, but the main structure is in place. I know there is hurt in his future. The good bye meeting will be painful. At least for Anthony and I and, of course for him, even if he doesn't show it. I don't know how he'll be about it. His and Davan's good bye meeting will be painful, as well. It'll be a tough week for all.

I hope Max will be safe and happy in his life. Or, at least safe. He may not be capable of true happiness. But, I hope I'm wrong about that.