Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Telling People

The main issue of the day seems to have been telling people. Of course, those who know us best already know. However, there are lots of people that we interact with who aren't up on the whole story.

First, though, before the telling people I took Max to his psychiatric evaluation this morning. Barbara was going to do it, but had a dentist appointment she'd forgotten about. So, I picked him up from the foster family where he is staying and took him.

Let me say here a few things about the foster family. A very nice seeming lady in maybe her 60s is the foster mom. There is no dad in the home. The other kids are two 2 year olds and a 4 year old. Max is not thrilled about being there. Although, he did get pizza for dinner last night and get to watch TV in a marathon from being dropped off yesterday until I picked him up this morning, minus sleeping time. I could wish for a better "resting" place for him, but I don't get to say and another move probably isn't in his best interest. I just hope that he says calm there for all their sakes.

Max was his usual sort of self for going and testing. I think he'll come out of this assessment with a RAD diagnosis of some level. Why? I just got those vibes from the psychiatrist. Plus, A, his therapist, didn't want him to go see this guy. She wanted him to see another guy. I'm thinking this is because this guy diagnosis RAD, which she doesn't like.

I must say that I was so happy that I was able to just walk away, rather than take him back home. Barbara did come during the assessment and took him back to the foster family.

I picked Davan up from Denny's where she'd been hanging out with my step dad and off we went, after a quick stop at home for lunch, to book group, where there were many people to tell. I sort of don't want to, but people will eventually ask where he is. Although, for now, most would assume he's in camp. But, getting it over with seemed best.

Everyone reacted in an understanding and sympathetic manor. It took me a little by surprise, given stories I've heard from other people who've disrupted. I think one person maybe thought we'd messed up by doing so, but he just stayed quiet, rather than comment.

My mom also told my extended family on her side and all were very supportive.

I can't tell you how good it feels for the majority of our friends, family and acquaintances to not be judgmental.

Anthony is still sad. He still feels like he let Max down by not being a good enough dad for him. He thinks we made the right choice, but he feels like it was his lack of ability to be a good parent that was the reason for it, I think. I'm being as supportive as I can. I understand that he needs to work through all of this and grieve.

He, also, understands, though, that I've already done a lot of grieving and am feeling mostly relief. It's still difficult, though, to be feeling some opposite feelings about the same matter.

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