Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Our Thanksgiving Plans

Our original plan for this Thanksgiving was deliver Thanksgiving meals for Meals on Wheels and then have dinner with my parents. We were going to order a premade meal from Wild Oats and just have a nice, quite, relaxing weekend.

Last month, though, my parents visited my grandparents. My step dad, particularly, talked a lot about how my grandpa isn't doing very well. He's lost a lot of weight recently and sleeps a lot of the day away, even when there is company.

My family and I made the decision to go see my grandparents over Thanksgiving. We were supposed to see them when we're in Florida next month, but we knew we wouldn't see a lot of them because we're also doing Disneyworld and staying near the resort. We were all supposed to go to a wedding at the resort, but that event fell through. In addition, my step dad said that he didn't think Grandpa was going to be up for going.

We took a look at our calendar and Thanksgiving was the time when we had time, so we called them up and invited ourselves. They were happy about it. My parents opted to come along, as well as two of my aunts and an uncle (married to one of the aforementioned aunts).

Then, a couple of weeks ago, Grandpa ended up in the hospital. The crux of the situation is that he's not eating anymore. There was talk of a feeding tube. Grandpa didn't want one, though. Well, he was a little iffy about it when he was in the hospital, but he was very clear about it in his living will. That's why people do those things, right? If he'd been adamant that he wanted a feeding tube, the family would have chosen to give him one. As it is, though, the decision to not go with the feeding tube was made.

Grandpa is back home now. One aunt is staying with him and Grandma. It's hard. He's not always lucid. He doesn't eat unless fed, which has stopped now. He's in pain. He has pain meds, but he's still in pain. He can't get up anymore. He is presented with food, but he doesn't choose to eat. I think not feeding him is the right thing, if he doesn't want it. But, it does mean that the end is neigh.

I'm thinking that Grandpa may not make it until Thanksgiving. We may have to go down early for his funeral instead. I feel a little sad about the strong possibility of not making it for a visit before he dies. I almost wonder if we should just get in the car and go.

Would he get much out of a visit? It sounds like he probably wouldn't from the reports we're getting. And it would be difficult to be there, particularly for Davan. She's not overly close with him and, while sad that he is dying, isn't fretful about not seeing him.

Anthony has work. Davan has gymnastics. We're supposed to camp this weekend. We're having my birthday celebration while camping. Should we go on with our plans? Should we not? I don't know, honestly. I know we can't miss all of that stuff indefinitely and we don't know how long Grandpa will make it.

And, through all of this, I can't believe that Grandpa didn't stick to his word. He told us that it wasn't going to happen that he'd die before Grandma. He promised it wouldn't come to that. He said he'd "take care of it" if that were the way it was seeming to go. Now he's too far gone and Grandma isn't showing any signs of going first. Geez, we can't count on that man for anything, it seems. What the heck are we going to do with Grandma after this!?!?! (It's called dark humor, people. Although, Grandpa really did promise. Sigh.)

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