So, just as I was loading pictures earlier, there was a knock on the door. It was a little early, but I was expecting Davan's friend, so I thought nothing of it. I went to answer the door and who is standing there? Max.
It was 1:05. He usually gets home between 2:40-2:50. He didn't have his coat or books or anything. He was muddy. His face was muddy. His shirt was muddy. He was out of breath and upset.
Me: "Max! What's going on?!?!?"
Max: "I just came home. I hate school! I don't like school. I just came home."
Me: "Are you okay? What happened?"
Max: "I'm okay. I just came home. I hate school."
Me: "Did something happen?"
Max: "I hate being bossed around all the time at school. I don't like school. I just came home."
Me: "Okay....I'm glad you're okay. Does anyone know you left?"
Max: "I just left."
Me: "Was it recess?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Okay. I've got to call the school and then we'll probably need to go back up there."
Max, cheerful: "Okay."
I called the school. They didn't know he was missing.
I asked him what had happened. He said that he was doing writing when his teacher asked him to move his desk back. He sits with 5 other kids and often is asked to move his desk back because he talks when the are supposed to be working. Then she asked him to move his desk all the way to the wall and he didn't want to so he just left.
I sent Max to his room so I could call Anthony and figure out what to do. The school called on the cell phone, asking me to bring him back up. After figuring out something for getting Davan to her afternoon activity, I did.
His teacher mostly said the same thing that he did about what happened, adding that he was asked to move his desk because he was talking and moving around the group. After the first move, he was back to talking and moving around the group after a few minutes. Thus, he was told to move it more.
There was a substitute principal there today, which was too bad, but I felt like we got somewhere. Max is going to have a consequence for his action. He's also going to be spending time with the school counselor.
I also found out that he was AWOL for 20 minutes this morning, in addition to his afternoon disappearing trick. He wouldn't tell his teacher where he was. I found out on the way home that he was hiding amongst the coats in the class room coat area. He told me he just didn't want to go. I'm sure he was pissed off about this morning.
I also got a clue as to what the deal with the trying last couple of weeks has been. Max told his teacher that he was going to have an adoption party in February. He thought that was when the adoption was going to be finalized. I can only guess that as March went on and the finalization didn't happen, he was freaking out that we didn't want him after all.
In the last few weeks, he's talked about running away, wanting to live with his foster family again and has generally been a shit. More than usual, that is. And his good times seemed to be getting further and further apart. We'd asked him what was going on, but he kept saying that school wasn't going well. A little girl was bossing him around. It turns out she'd told him something like twice after winter break to do something. That didn't really seem to be the issue, but he wouldn't say and we couldn't guess.
After what his teacher said, though, I asked him if he was nervous about the adoption. He said he was. I asked what he was nervous about. He said he didn't want to be adopted. He wanted to go live with is foster family, but that if he did, we'd be mad and might hurt his foster family.
I told him that if he did go live with his foster family, we'd be sad, but would never hurt them. I also explained, though, that it wasn't possible for him to go live with them. For one, they've moved out of state. For two, they chose not to adopt him. I didn't explain the one and two to him, but that it wasn't possible for him to live there. I did let him know, though, that it wasn't our decision to take him away from his foster family.
Then I asked him if he was worried that the adoption wasn't going to happen because February was past and he thought it was going to be in February. Yes, he was thinking that. I reminded him that the last time Barbara was here we'd talked about that it would be in the spring, when the weather was warmer. I told him that, although it's been warm for the last few days, it wasn't really spring yet. I explained that things are still being worked on for the adoption and that we still do want to adopt him.
He complained that it seemed like it would never happen, but he seems to be relieved now. He's been doing well this afternoon. He got his week day list of stuff done (tidying his room, picking up his belongings, reading) with little fuss. He earned two stickers by helping Davan with making dinner, taking out the compost and being cheerful.
I guess we'll see.
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