The post-Prozac initial weight drop didn't last. In fact, I'm now up a pound. I can't blame it on the Prozac anymore. I still feel like getting off the Prozac was a good idea (see previous post), but it wasn't what was causing the weight gain. Sadly. That would be an easy fix, no?
I've been skirting around the truth of being a sugar-holic for a while now. I keep saying I have an unhealthy relationship with sugar. I keep going back to eating it anyway.
Some people can eat sugar socially, just like some people can drink alcohol socially. Other people, like alcoholics, find themselves eating just one more piece of someone else's birthday cake. And then just one more. And then, that night, back at home, thinking about the cake and maybe some ice cream would be a good idea. I'll just run out, shall I? And then, if the sugar doesn't continue to come, there are withdrawals. Cravings, irritability, hunger without cause (say, after a large and satisfying meal). That's me, people.
This is not the first time I'm saying this, but I really think I need to just not eat sugar. No cookies, no ice cream, no cake, no candy. Before, though, I'll also say, except for when...it's someone's birthday...someone is offering me a homemade treat...it's Easter/Halloween/Christmas...I've had a really bad day. Not really on the last one, but, yeah, that's caused me to hop up on sugar even after I've said I won't do it.
I'm seriously contemplating a just say no policy. Period. I don't seem to be able to handle social sugar.
All this said, I'm not really into dieting, per say. I think it's more important to focus on eating healthy, nutritious foods. I don't worry about dried fruit (very high in natural sugars) or nuts (very high in fat). I do think, though, that these sugar cravings/needs/desires I have are unhealthy.
We get into dangerous ground here. I do think that being thin is healthy. I want to be healthy. That is the primary reason for wanting to stay slender. However, I also like the way I look when I'm thin. I also don't want to grow out of my clothes and have to buy new ones.
There's the whole movement about being happy with your body the way that it is. I think there's something to be said for that. Eating disorders abound if you focus too much on how you look. However, I must say that I think eating too much and becoming overweight is an eating disorder, too. It may not be as immediately life threatening as anorexia or bulimia, but it is life threatening to be overweight. The fact is that if you're overweight, your life span will, statistically, be shorter than if you're slender. Potentially a lot shorter. That sounds like a problem to me.
Back to sugar. I truly think I need to be done with it. However, I feel like I need to be really sure and strong about it before I make a definite declaration. Again. Or, is waiting not good, either? Perhaps it's best to keep saying, "I quit!" until it sticks one of these times.
Sugar is just such a socially acceptable habit. Like smoking used to be. It's hard to be the one who says no. To be different from everyone else.
I don't know, but I'm thinking about it a lot. For now, though, it's off to bed. And perhaps some "bed time activity" if Anthony is feeling well enough - the poor guy has an unpleasant cold. Fingers crossed!
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